Featured Book Review

This month's column is dedicated to future wedding couples & parents of those couples who will be hosting weddings in the next year. We have some practical, some liturgical & some just plain humorous reading suggestions, all packed with gems of advice.

The first suggestion is Cheap Ways to Tie the Knot: How to Plan a Church Wedding for Less Than $5,000 by Cara Davis. I found this book on the website of a Christian financial planning organization (at www.Crown.org look under "Budgeting Resources.") The author is the editor of Radiant magazine, and was married in 2003. Her wedding, apparently, cost less than $5,000 then. What we liked about this book was the range of suggestions (Bargain $, Budget $$, and Bling $$$) and the focus on spending wisely as a lifestyle, not an event. It was the suggested budget from this book that our family used to guide spending for our daughter's wedding.

Somebody is going to die if Lilly Beth doesn't catch that bouquet: The Official Southern Ladies Guide to Hosting the Perfect Wedding by Gayden Metcalfe and Charlotte Hayes is a hoot of a book. Despite its goofy title, it really is a cook book. I found it at the Livonia Public Library. The authors have assembled some really great menus for entertaining before, during and after a wedding, with equally great recipes for those who want or need to cut costs.

The food, although it is no doubt authentically Delta (real Southern,) must have universal appeal. This writer, who grew up in Southern Ontario (Canada) recognized at least three recipes as my mother's cream puffs, my grandmother's fruit cake and my great aunt's egg salad. Maybe those English-speaking Canadian relatives were keeping something from us, but I doubt they had ever been south of Buffalo. Between laughs, reading this book will make your mouth water.

The names for some of the recipes alone are worth reading: Holy Roller Salad, Shotgun Tomatoes with Spinach Filling, All the Rage Tomato Bites, Air Base Cocktail (also known as Kiss the Boys Good-Bye), Bloody Marys by the Gallon, Poulet Bang Bang (stuffed game birds), and Wrong Side of the Track Dip.

The menus begin with the courtship: Sunday Lunch to Impress a Prospective Bridegroom, shower and bridal fetes such as the Morning Coffee Party Menu (popular with Baptists), The Rehearsal Dinner, menus for a morning, mid-day or evening wedding, and the Restorative Cocktail Party (after tiresome guests leave!) As the book jacket says: "For anyone planning a wedding, (Southern or not), this book will amuse, entertain and provide advice for future marital bliss."

The Complete Book of Wedding Flowers. Stunning flower arranging inspiration for everyone and every location by Shirley Monckton is another "do-it-yourself" guide for brides and their helpers. In fact, this book even has tips for how to recruit help and a pre-wedding & wedding day guide, with illustrations and diagrams, to preserve and fabricate your wedding flowers from bouquets and corsages to alter, pew and reception floral arrangements. I purchased this book to show the gorgeous photos to my daughter-the-bride, but one could use the practical "how-to" advice in this book for more than inspiration.

For solid help in planning a wedding liturgy, we recommend The Catholic Wedding Book by Molly Hans & William Graham. I came across this book at the public library in Henrietta and immediately liked it for its organization and focus on the liturgical ceremony alone, pretty rare in the wedding industry. This book too has a terrific sense of humor. One of the authors is a priest and the other is the mother of ten children. Need I say more?

The book is organized into Part I (Getting Your Act Together), Part II (Behind the Scenes) and Part III (Beyond the Footlights.) Part I contains great advice for the engaged couple about the roles of the priest, musicians, readers and assorted attendants. A very well written "How Much to Give Whom for Doing What" section (p. 46-47) will make fans out of pastors everywhere. My favorite part of this book is the demystifying chapters on planning a wedding liturgy. If you are a Catholic who "goes to church" every week or not, terms like "celebrating the Eucharist; joining the assembly to greet the Lord present in word and sacrament; or participating in the saving mysteries as God's priestly people" (p. 89) may not roll off your tongue as easily as... well...others.

What these authors recommend to the bridal couple is sensible: start with reading some scripture passages together. They recommend the ones appointed for use during the wedding liturgy. They are included in this book (p. 121) with annotations. The authors wisely recommend that you do this well in advance of the Rehearsal! They also explain liturgical terms as they are commonly used for Catholic weddings: processional, opening prayer, old testament reading, new testament reading, alleluia, gospel, homily, exchange of vows, blessing and exchanging of rings, the kiss, presentation and preparation of the gifts, preface, acclamations during the Eucharistic prayer, the Lord's prayer, nuptial blessing, sign of peace, communion, blessing and dismissal of the congregation and the recessional.

There is a valuable discussion (102-103) about eucharistic hospitality and why (if one of the bridal couple is not Catholic or your congregation of guests will contain many non-Catholics) you may elect to not celebrate the Eucharist at your wedding. The authors diplomatically and sensibly urge the bridal couple "to discuss these issues with your priest. He can help you better to understand Catholic practice and where and how it differs from practices of the other churches in your area... (and) interpret particular guidelines ...that may differ in emphasis from diocese to diocese."

Towards the end of the book there are great sections on getting the most out of marriage preparation courses and more, right down to how to construct a receiving line, advice I am going to use this June at my daughter's wedding. All in all, The Catholic Wedding Book could be very helpful to a number of dear soon-to-be-married readers. Congratulations!